Most of you have read bits and pieces of Ian and Ryan's story as it happened, and some of you read the TTTS surgery story that I posted earlier this year. I have now finished writing out their story from when I found out i was pregnant till their first birthday. I am planning to post a few chapters a week since it is prematurity awareness month (November (day -17th)) and TTTS awareness month (December (day -7th))
If you are having twins please ask your Doctor if they are sharing a placenta. If they are, ask to be monitored (weekly/biweekly ultrasounds) for TTTS even if there are no warning signs. TTTS is not as rare as was originally thought and can progress quickly. Often if it is untreated one or both babies will die.
1 in 10 babies are born prematurely. Having a baby in the NICU is a journey I cannot rightly explain though I try in my story.
This has been the hardest journey I've ever had, it has also been the most rewarding. I see so many things differently than I did 1 1/2 years ago. One thing I see differently is hospitals - they used to be intimidating to me, now I'm fairly comfortable going to them them. I've also become fairly desensitized on the outside (this is the best way I can explain it). That doesn't mean I don't feel the pain and heartache inside, I just have a hard time showing it on the outside, I likely won't cry, or even tear up. I've always been a little like this, but now I'm even more so. Now, I understand that a heartfelt hug, or pat on the back, or squeeze of the hand means more than any fancy words a person can think up. ❤
This has been the hardest journey I've ever had, it has also been the most rewarding. I see so many things differently than I did 1 1/2 years ago. One thing I see differently is hospitals - they used to be intimidating to me, now I'm fairly comfortable going to them them. I've also become fairly desensitized on the outside (this is the best way I can explain it). That doesn't mean I don't feel the pain and heartache inside, I just have a hard time showing it on the outside, I likely won't cry, or even tear up. I've always been a little like this, but now I'm even more so. Now, I understand that a heartfelt hug, or pat on the back, or squeeze of the hand means more than any fancy words a person can think up. ❤
The story ends with two healthy, happy twins, not all stories end this way, many do not. All stories are different, just like people. Not one is exactly the same.
We are and always have been a pro life family. We believe God is the giver of life. He doesn't make mistakes.
Many have asked if we had doctors or healthcare professionals that offered, or tried to pressure us into having an abortion. Yes we did. But we also had doctors that didn't even mention it, and they even called our babies what they are - babies, not fetus' or something sounding less human. The first doctor in the Royal Alex I saw right after my second ultrasound - when they diagnosed TTTS, was not pro life as far as I could tell. He only mentioned the fourth option -fly to Toronto for surgery, under his breath and was visibly annoyed when I chose that option. He said there wasn't much luck they would both survive anyway. After we got back from Toronto I had to see him often when I went for weekly ultrasounds at the Alex, he would say things like "at least you have one healthy one", or "well one of your fetus' is doing well". He also often wanted me to come back in 2 or 3 weeks for my next ultrasound, instead of the recommended weekly ultrasounds the doctors in Toronto said was needed. So we often argued a little and then I got the Okay to come back in a week. After a while some of the ultrasound techs knew me and got the doctor to sign a blank 'next ultrasound' paper and then fill it in for the next week after the doctor had left. Then I wouldn't have to argue. Just before 32 weeks that doctor went on holidays and I saw another doctor, she asked me how come I wasn't admitted and having daily monitoring or steroid shots yet? I said because I hadn't been offered that yet. She gave me steroid shots within the hour and tried to get homecare to come daily to our house for monitoring, but they didn't have room in the program for me (lots of their funding had been recently cut). So she admitted me into the Royal Alex. She was quite worried. I didn't add all that to the story because I didn't want the story to sound like a 'sob story' or to bash any doctors, I don't know the reason why he seemed so rude to me, maybe his personal life was really bad, or maybe he had just had a lawsuit against him for something pro life. There are so many reasons, they are people after all. :-)
Many have asked if we had doctors or healthcare professionals that offered, or tried to pressure us into having an abortion. Yes we did. But we also had doctors that didn't even mention it, and they even called our babies what they are - babies, not fetus' or something sounding less human. The first doctor in the Royal Alex I saw right after my second ultrasound - when they diagnosed TTTS, was not pro life as far as I could tell. He only mentioned the fourth option -fly to Toronto for surgery, under his breath and was visibly annoyed when I chose that option. He said there wasn't much luck they would both survive anyway. After we got back from Toronto I had to see him often when I went for weekly ultrasounds at the Alex, he would say things like "at least you have one healthy one", or "well one of your fetus' is doing well". He also often wanted me to come back in 2 or 3 weeks for my next ultrasound, instead of the recommended weekly ultrasounds the doctors in Toronto said was needed. So we often argued a little and then I got the Okay to come back in a week. After a while some of the ultrasound techs knew me and got the doctor to sign a blank 'next ultrasound' paper and then fill it in for the next week after the doctor had left. Then I wouldn't have to argue. Just before 32 weeks that doctor went on holidays and I saw another doctor, she asked me how come I wasn't admitted and having daily monitoring or steroid shots yet? I said because I hadn't been offered that yet. She gave me steroid shots within the hour and tried to get homecare to come daily to our house for monitoring, but they didn't have room in the program for me (lots of their funding had been recently cut). So she admitted me into the Royal Alex. She was quite worried. I didn't add all that to the story because I didn't want the story to sound like a 'sob story' or to bash any doctors, I don't know the reason why he seemed so rude to me, maybe his personal life was really bad, or maybe he had just had a lawsuit against him for something pro life. There are so many reasons, they are people after all. :-)
We were able to stay fairly positive throughout this whole journey, and when we needed peace, or patience, or immediate medical attention, God gave what was needed right when we needed it. ❤
Dr. Ryan's team in Toronto was the opposite, they are from what we could tell prolife and Dr. Ryan only offered abortion once, but from his facial expression he didn't like doing that at all. Later when we read reviews from people online, the only complaint we read was that he wouldn't do that persons abortions, he just send them to another doctor.
If you have any questions about TTTS or would like to donate to the ttts foundation here is a link to their website:
I hope to do some fundraising for the TTTS Foundation in the future. (Still deciding how) They offer emotional and financial support to so many families that are effected by TTTS.
If you would like a copy of the story please leave a comment below, or message me on facebook.
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