1-2-3 Magic :-) Day 1

I took bunch of books on parenting/kids out of the library about a week ago because I really wanted to see if there was something I could change, the past few weeks have been awful and I feel like I'm yelling at my kids all day long! Then at the end of the day I'm so frustrated!
Anyway, I tried to read one of them but only read about 1/2 of it, I didn't really agree with it, so I started reading 1-2-3 Magic for Christian Parents, Effective discipline for children 2-12.
I thought hmm interesting, fairly simple, and looks pretty easy, so Matthew and I decided to try it. Yesterday was the first day - WOW! this is crazy, I am so confused why this works so well! Why? How? The basic thing about this book is disciplining without emotion. THIS IS VERY HARD TO DO! For me anyway! That means NO yelling things like "DON'T TOUCH THAT" or "WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?" etc. It also really stresses not to argue with your kids, and not to talk to them like little adults.
Example:

Arguing like you are talking to a little adult....

"Can I have a cookie?"
"No dear"
"Why not"
" cuz we are eating supper right away"
"But I want one"
"I just told you you couldn't have one"
" I never get anything"
" What are you talking about? Did you eat yet today? Are you in a warm house? am I feeding you supper?!"
" You gave Jake one a little while ago"
"Are you your brother? And it doesn't matter he eats his supper, you don't!"
" I promise I'll eat my supper"
"Don't give me this promise, promise, promise stuff little lady! I gave you one yesterday and you didn't eat ANY supper!"
" THEN I'M GOING TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME!"
"GO AHEAD! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS!"


Mother using 1-2-3

"Can I have a cookie?"
"No, dear"
"Why not?"
"Because we are having supper right away"
"But I want one"
"That's 1"
"I never get anything"
"That's 2"
"THEN I'M RUNNING AWAY FROM HOME!"
"That's 3 - Time out

Mother using 1-2-3 for a few days...

"Can I have a cookie?"
"No, dear"
"Why not?'
"Because we are having supper right away"
"But I want one"
"That's one"
"..... Oh ok" walks away grumpy.

Bazinga! That's it! :-) Yay!!!!!

Miriam and Dylan both understood very quickly that 3 ment they are getting a time out. For a time out spot I use a chair in the kitchen. The author recommends using a bedroom as a time out spot but we don't have the room for that, so we chose to use a chair instead. They have to sit and fold their arms - if they unfold their arms or get off before the timer beeps then I calmly walk over put them back on the chair and fold their arms, there is no yelling "GET BACK ON THE CHAIR" or "IF YOU UNFOLD YOUR ARMS ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA..." I just put them back.
Miriam has to sit for 3 mins and Dylan for 2. First think I thought was "ya right, like my kids gonna sit there" but oddly enough they did :-S weird! After a few times Dylan kinda touched his toe to the ground and looked at me, then he put his foot on the floor, then I got up put him back on the chair and walked away - THIS IS VERY HARD TO DO! lol I didn't realize how much training this would be for ME! :-P By mid afternoon both kids were behaving and playing nicely....wait for it.... TOGETHER! Weird! Not normal in this house! Supper went very smoothly and Miriam even asked yes I said ASKED for more potatoes!!!! WHAT?? I'm still VERY confused, but a happy, contented kind of confused! :-)


So after day 1 - I REALLY recommend this book - but I'm not sure if I should get my hopes up just yet... We'll see if this can really go this well for 10 days. ;-)
I gave an example in this blog post, but I would recommend that you read the book before trying this and giving up, or saying "That won't work with my kids" The book is well written, easy to understand, simple, and has lots of tips and examples in it. The original author also has another book written for teens.